Scattered Ashes Read online

  He chuckled. “Yeah, well, my mom might think that would improve things.”

  Nicole found herself laughing, but she thought it might in part be because she didn’t know how to handle emotions running through her about a guy she'd only just met. She figured the best thing she could do would be to ignore them, so she turned her focus to the canoe. She reached out and tried to grab the paddle again, but they had drifted quite a ways in different directions.

  "Uh oh," she gulped.

  He laughed again. "You get one. I'll get the other."

  Nicole started swimming until she reached one of the paddles, and by the time she got back, Jordan was already waiting for her.

  “Well, what are we going to do now? I don’t think the canoe is going to right itself.”

  “Nope. Probably not,” he agreed. Swimming to it, he gripped his fingers under one end and tugged it toward shore. Not sure what else she could do, Nicole swam after him.

  “What’re you doing?” she asked.

  “Taking the canoe to shallow water. It’ll be easier to flip.” He glanced over his shoulder. “You coming?”

  “Right behind you.”

  A few of the other students in canoes spotted them swimming with the overturned canoe. More than once, somebody chuckled, but Nicole didn’t feel so bad, considering the tip had been intentional. Once they'd reached water that touched just above the knees, Jordan held the canoe still and nodded at it.

  “Get in. It’ll be easier in the shallow water. I’ll push us out. Again.” The last word came out with a smirk, and Nicole laughed.

  “But you’re so good at it.”

  “Umm-hmm.” He waited for her to climb into the canoe and get settled before gently nudging the boat out deeper. Then he climbed in, sat, and grabbed his paddle. “You ready?”

  “Sure. Why not?” She shrugged.

  “We are going to stay in the canoe this time, right?” he asked, laughing.

  “That’s for me to know and you to find out,” Nicole taunted, dipping her paddle in the water.

  * * *

  They spent most of the morning in the canoe before reaching the pick-up point, where the instructor waited for them, and once they'd finished their water journey, the two loaded the canoe into the truck and sat down amid the group to wait for stragglers.

  The instructor must have also had an interest in photography because he was taking pictures of the students with an instant camera. He shot one picture of Jordon and Nicole sitting on the bridge, and Jordan had given it to her.

  Three or four of the students who had arrived back first had been put in charge of grilling burgers and hot dogs. While Nicole didn’t much like either, she had to admit to working up quite an appetite during the trip downriver. Her stomach growled in agreement.

  “Was that you?” Jordan asked, looking at her stomach.

  “Well, yeah,” she finally said, feeling a flush creep into her cheeks. She looked at the massive tree they sat under, enjoying the soft breeze that rustled among the leaves, rubbing them against one other. Although she sat with her legs crossed and tucked toward her body, she leaned back, resting on her palms behind her. His knees were drawn to his body, and he rested his arms on them.

  “Should I tell them to put a rush order in before you eat one of the canoes?” Jordan said helpfully.

  “No, thanks. I think I can wait,” she replied, shaking her head.

  “Don’t say I didn't offer.”

  “So, tell me more about you,” she said, licking her lips and wishing she had some Chapstick. Then again, considering the way her shoulders were slightly red, she knew she’d probably wish she’d worn sunscreen even more by the time the day was through.

  “Let see. I’m going to be a monk, and I like country music.” He shrugged, wearing a serious expression, but she knew better. She leaned over and nudged him with her shoulder.

  “You liar!”

  “Oh, you wanted the truth. Well, why didn’t you say so?” His eyes twinkled in amusement and he laughed, a warm, deep sound that suffused through her as the breeze gently lifted a strand of his hair and made it stand on end before it eased back with the rest of his dark hair. He took a deep breath.

  “Let's see. I have a younger sister who kind of reminds me of you. Right now I work in a Best Buy selling computers, and in May I’ll be done with my degree.” He looked straight ahead as though suddenly lost somewhere else, and in that moment the smile died as though he were thinking about something he didn’t particularly want to think about right. He turned back to her.

  “Is that enough?” he asked, staring into her eyes as another strand of hair blew across her face. Before she could lift a hand to move it, he reached out and pushed it behind her ear.

  Nicole took a deep breath, trying to figure out whether she were really going to ask the question at the heart of things, a question she didn’t want to ask but that she knew she’d want to kick herself repeatedly for if she didn’t, and it didn’t appear that he was going to just tell her.

  “So, what about a girlfriend?” she finally asked, reminding herself not to hold her breath and that no matter what, the answer wasn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things.

  “Girlfriend,” he repeated, and as he spoke, the word almost sounded like it had been spoken in a foreign language. “Well,” he continued, a frown tugging at his lips. “No, I don’t have a girlfriend. I have a fiancé, which isn’t quite the same thing.” As he spoke, he stared off into space, distracted, and Nicole felt a flush coloring her cheeks. For the thousandth time, she wished she weren’t so easily embarrassed.

  “A fiancé. Wow. So when’s the big day?”

  He took a deep breath and released it. “The end of next month. Right now she’s a maniac wedding planner, and it’s just safer to stay out of her way, which is another reasons I’m here on this PE class. It’ll keep me out of trouble.”

  Nicole nodded and tried to digest the information he'd given her, her mind frantically spinning at all the behavior cues she had read so wrong. Was he really just that friendly of a guy? She hadn’t known him long enough to tell, but she was a pretty good judge of character, and he didn’t seem like a jerk to her. He seemed pretty honest.

  She unfolded her legs and mimicked his posture. “So how long have you known her?”

  “Three years. We met when we were both freshmen.” He kept staring ahead, and his voice seemed more tense than it had been, and Nicole wondered if there were a reason he seemed so uncomfortable.

  Nicole swallowed hard and nodded. “That’s great. I’m glad you’ve found someone who makes you happy.”

  “Thanks.” Jordan slowly turned to face her. He'd tugged his eyebrows downward and wore a thoughtful frown. “And have you?”

  Although Nicole started to answer, another guy in the class approached them and handed them each a plate with a hamburger on it. Both Nicole and Jordan accepted the offerings and said “thank you” in unison.

  For a moment after, there was an awkward silence as they began eating and Nicole kept replaying the conversation up to that point. Finally, as she felt him staring, she said, “Not yet, not even close.” At that, she mentally went through the list of guys she’d gone out with and now lamented. Although the list was short, it was far from sweet, and unfortunately none of them were anything like Jordan or perhaps she might have been able to see a future with someone. “And I’ve had enough blind dates to last a lifetime, thank you.”

  He nodded. “You say ‘blind date’ like it’s a bad thing.”

  “Don’t get me started.” She waved her burger at him. “I’ve been down that road, and it never turns out well.” Shaking her head, she took a bite and focused on eating, unsure where to go from here.

  “So, aren’t you going to ask me any of the usual questions, like ‘How did you know she was the one?’ or something like that?” He, too, took a bite.

  Shrugging, she said, “Okay. I’ll bite. How did you know she was the one?”

&nbs
p; “I've never known that. We’ve just been close for years, and I thought maybe that was what was supposed to happen.” Again, he stared off into space, suggesting he had gone somewhere she wasn’t privy to.

  “You don’t sound so sure of things.”

  He shifted slightly so he could set the plate on his legs. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s probably just a sign of cold feet or something.”

  She nodded but tried to tell herself not to think too much about the ‘or something’ she had started to feel. Still, she wasn’t about to broach the topic. She didn’t know why, but for some reason, she really enjoyed being around Jordan, and even if they were only to be friends, she didn’t want to chance ruining that, not when he was so easy to talk to.

  Chapter Two

  Once the stragglers had found their way to the group, they all finished lunch and prepared for a mountain hike. Harris guided them to the mountain in question and told them once again to pair off and stay on the trail. He also handed out a sort of scavenger hunt list of items to return with to get a grade. While Jordan figured it was more a way to make sure everyone was staying on task, he thought it was also a lousy way to earn grades. Then again, this whole weekend PE credit thing had not been his idea of a good time.

  Until he'd met Nicole.

  He didn’t know what he’d been thinking when he'd approached her on the bridge. He'd figured she was probably just another pretty face, and he’d seen plenty of those. But whatever had drawn him to her had gone beyond beauty. He couldn’t totally dismiss that even when he’d been watching her before he’d approached, there'd been something between them. Granted, it was something he didn’t really understand, but it was there nonetheless. He knew, considering that he felt something unusual stirring, he should just keep his distance, but he kept telling himself that whatever was happening could be the start of a great friendship. For whatever reason, he couldn’t seem to dismiss it altogether.

  “So, you up for partnering off again?” Nicole asked, eyeing the mountain just ahead as she stood with her hands on her hips.

  “Sure. Why not. At least there’s no canoe to tip.” He nudged her with his shoulder.

  “Ooh, funny guy. Thanks.” She shook her head and turned her attention to the list. “Looks like we’ve got about ten things to find to get the grades. You ready to get a move on?”

  He gestured to the path. “Ladies first.”

  She laughed. “You just want me where you can keep an eye on me.”

  “That, too.”

  The two started up the trail, keeping their pace leisurely to let all the other, more dedicated students get a head start. Nicole figured if she were going to be forced to do this, she might as well enjoy her surroundings, and that sure wouldn’t happen with other college students noisily tromping the grounds, shimmying to their iPods, oblivious to the natural world around them, one that existed far beyond the ten things they had to find.

  Truth be told, Nicole preferred nature to people. Nature she understood. People were a different story. She licked her lips, feeling the sun burning down upon her and felt grateful that just ahead was an area where trees on either side laced together high overhead and shut out much of the glaring sunlight. She looked down at her shoulders and muttered, “Oh, crap.”

  Jordan’s gaze followed, and he shook his head. “Let me guess. You have something against sunscreen.”

  She ran her fingers over the pink skin. “No. I just sort of forgot to bring some.”

  “Of course.” Jordan shook his head and tugged his small pack from his shoulders. Unzipping it, he said, “Well, at least one of us didn’t forget.” He pulled out a small bottle and handed it to her.

  “Thanks.” She poured some into her hands and rubbed it into her shoulder. Of course, there was the problem of her back because there was no way she’d ever be able to reach it. Gritting her teeth, she knew she was going to have to ask for help even as awkward as it might seem.

  “Could you put some on my back? I can’t reach it, and I’m sure the sun has already burned it, too.”

  “Sure.” Jordan swallowed hard and nodded as he took the

  sunscreen and squirted some into his palm. He looked at his hand for a second or two then lifted it to her shoulder and began rubbing it in. “Yeah, you’re right about the sunburn. Something tells me you aren’t going to be comfortable tonight.”

  “Lucky me,” she muttered, unsure what to make of the feel of his hands caressing her with such a light touch. Of course, it definitely wasn’t helping, considering this was supposed to be a friendship. Then again, there was that old saying about women and men not being able to be friends, something she’d never really believed before. It wasn’t her fault Jordan Carroway was giving her doubts about everything.

  What the hell was going on with her? She’d never reacted like this before.

  “Okay. You should be good.” She felt his hand lift and turned to smile at him.

  “Thanks. At least this way my back won’t burn anymore.”

  “True.” He capped the bottle securely and shoved it back into his bag. The two started walking along the trail again. Jordan unfolded the list and began reading.

  “So tell me something to look for,” she said.

  He scanned the page and finally said, “How about a sycamore leaf? Think you can handle that?”

  “No problem.” As they headed deeper into the shadows of the trees, Nicole meandered towards the edge of the path and glanced at the branches, searching for the telltale three-pointed leaf. While the trees nearest the path weren’t sycamores, she did spot one farther back and immediately began trudging toward it.

  “Ummm, Nicole—"

  “Hang on,” she said and moved faster, determined to be the first to find one of the items on the list. “I’ve almost got it.”

  “I really think—"

  “I’ll be right there!” she called and reached down.

  “Don’t touch that!” Jordan called. His tone was louder and firmer, causing her to turn abruptly.

  “Why? The leaves are right there.” She pointed to the dead leaves littering the ground.

  “Because you are standing knee-deep in poison ivy, and if you stick your hand in there, you’ll end up with it all over the place, which I really don’t think you want.” Jordan folded his arms across his chest and waited. He wore a bemused grin and arched an eyebrow at her.

  Nicole looked down, and this time she focused on the plants jutting up around the shaded base of the tree. The obvious three-leaved ivy now stood out since it had been called to her attention, and as she looked down, she quickly realized her calves were brushing the leaves already.

  “Now you tell me,” she muttered, trying to back away gracefully without touching the offending ivy any more than possible.

  “I tried to tell you before you went in, not that you would listen because you were in such a rush to be an over-achiever and all.”

  “I feel your sympathy and support, Jordan. I really do.” She kept stepping backwards until she’d extracted herself then turned to face him and noticed the smirk. Blushing, she waved a warning finger at him.

  “Not funny.”

  “That depends on your point of view, doesn’t it? Personally, I find it hilarious--and if you don't have trouble getting comfortable with that sunburn, I think this might just close the deal.” He shook his head and clicked his tongue as if to say, “Shame on you.”

  “Great. Now what do I do?” She looked down at her legs and felt helpless. Although they had already started itching, she figured that was just from her over-active imagination telling her they should be itching after being exposed to poison ivy. It was amazing what the power of suggestion could do.

  Jordan nodded to the path. “I say we keep moving. I hear water moving somewhere in the distance, and we’ll probably find the river soon enough. When we get there, you should rinse off your calves and hope that helps.”

  She smiled. “That’s a great idea. You’re a genius.”

>   He shrugged and started walking. “Whatever you say, Poison Ivy.”

  “Thanks.”

  To the left, they spotted a large evergreen and beneath her majestic limbs, several pine cones lay scattered. Jordan pointed. “A pine cone is on the list. Since I don’t see anything green beside the tree, you should be safe enough.”

  “I’ll be right back.” She veered to the left and darted beneath the tree to grab one of the cones, then returned. “Do you want to put it in your pack?”

  “Works for me.” He slid the straps from his shoulders and removed the pack so he could put the cone inside and zipped it.

  As they resumed walking, he consulted the list. “One down, nine to go. Keep your eye out for a locust shell. You do know what they look like, right?”

  She nodded. “I may be a city girl, but I do like the outdoors, smarty.”

  “Not surprising. You do look like you belong here more than the city.” Jordan risked a glance at her, liking the way strands of her hair kept falling into her face and her constantly reaching to push them aside as though that would keep them out of the way. “So tell me what you want out of life.”

  She shrugged and looked at the ground. “Nothing I’m going to admit. It’ll sound maudlin, and it’s not supposed to.”

  “Why not tell and let me be the judge?” He looked up at the small swatches of the sky that appeared among the outstretched branches.

  “Okay--no laughing though.” She glared at him.

  “No laughing, I promise,” he said, nodding.

  “I don’t have a clue about most stuff. The only thing I know is I want to change the world. I want to make it a better place.”

  Jordan understood why she didn’t want to say that. If anyone else had said it, he would have agreed it was trite and over-used, but something about the way she stared ahead, toward a future she couldn’t see, her full lips parted in a wistfulness he could only imagine, told him she meant it. She really wanted to make a difference, and she knew that difference might not be easy to achieve but that mattered to her all the same.